Don’t say it was delightful; make us say delightful when we’ve read the description. —C.S. Lewis

⭐ What does "show, don't tell" mean?

In the most basic sense, to show is to elaborate, while to tell is to summarize.

Example:

• Showing (elaborating): Nico greedily devoured the carton of sweet and sour chicken. Her husband stepped into the kitchen, his stomach rumbling. "Any left?" he asked. Nico finished the last bite and shook her head. Eyes narrowed, her husband opened the fridge. Beverages, beverages, all the way down...
• Telling (a summary): Nico hogged the Chinese food, which annoyed her hungry husband.

When you want to show, visualize the emotions/thoughts of your characters. It allows a scene to be more immersive. There are times to show, and there are times to tell. And both are valid, and both have their place within every written work.

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Pro-tip: Never describe what's not there; describe what IS there. Telling your reader what is not there immediately makes them picture the thing not there, which is completely counterproductive to your goals as a storyteller.

Reminder: Narration, action and dialogue are the three building blocks that make up a novel.

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⭐ Summarizing vs Expanding the Scene

When to "tell" and when to "show" is always your choice as the writer. Certain scenarios and important elements of the story deserve more space.

🍫 Narration/Summarization/Telling

You say the thing and move on. Great, we're done. It saves space in the manuscript (as it requires the least amount of text). It's clear and straightforward and got the point across, and the lexical density is at its peak. It may not be remembered by the reader later since it was such a small blip, but it's there.

Example:

Norwegians love chocolate.

Words: 3

🍫 Quick tell — Fake kinda-showing by "hiding" details in dialogue

It takes longer because you need a natural way to introduce the sentence. It doesn't usually add much more than narration would, but it takes more lines/beats. Often, it's information "for the reader" rather than natural to the scene, so if you aren't mindful of integration, it can feel stilted.

Sometimes a character (and the reader) has been left in the dark about something, and we need another character to tell them the thing quickly and then we can move on. A "quick tell" effectively gets the information across while feeling natural. But the dialogue in this case should be short snips and should include a body beat so we understand the character’s reactions to learning the thing.

Example:

“Do you like chocolate?”

“Of course, I love it! I'm a Norwegian.”

Words: 12

🍫 Expanding/Actually building out a scene and really showing the love of chocolate

Elicit the reader's senses: sight, sound, touch, taste and smell.

Example:

Cassie sits at the counter, her elbows perched on the granite.

I open my snack cabinet, revealing the pound of chocolate I picked up this morning. First-date perfection.

“Do you want any Toblerone?” I ask, pulling out the yellow package and placing it in front of her.

She shrugs. “Sure.”

Not the reaction I was hoping for.

I grab the chilled bottle of wine from the fridge. “Not a big chocolate person?” 

“Mint chocolate chip ice cream is better.”

“That fake-green monstrosity? Blasphemy!” I shoot her a look of mock-horror. “My people would be outraged.”

Her light laugh fills the kitchen as I fill two wine glasses with a healthy pour of chardonnay.

“The average Norwegian”---I point to myself---”eats thirteen pounds of chocolate a year, so you better work on your taste buds if you want to fit in around here.” And I better pick up a carton of ice cream at the store tomorrow.

Words: 157

In this scene, we're interacting with a specific kind of chocolate (starting small), sharing our feelings about chocolate and connecting the excitement with a specific Norwegian character, and then we're building up to how much is eaten by all Norwegians, really hammering the love home and putting it on full display. Because it was a longer, more immersive experience, readers are more likely to remember it.

Did we need to go all-out? Maybe, maybe not. Which one is "right" depends on you and your story. But in all three cases, I got the point across: Norwegians love chocolate.

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⭐ Talking Heads

Using a lot of dialogue can result in talking heads---where it's just lines of dialogue with nothing else around them.

My own note for myself is "at least one body beat/tag or inner-monologue for every three lines of dialogue." If I don't have this or can't achieve this comfortably, I focus on trimming the dialogue to what's important. I also check if I'm repeating something or can narrate instead.

Make sure your body beats aren't repetitive, and be conscious of the text as a whole. It's possible to over-do it, making conversations feel stilted/cluttered/lost due to the surrounding narration.

Keep in mind, you don't have to write out "everything." For example, when a new character enters a room, we the reader intuit there's some sort of hello happening, whether it's on the page or not.

"Balance!" Nico screamed into the void.

Narration vs expansion:

• Sometimes it's better to just tell the world-building fact/detail in narration, saving us from the lines of dialogue and action that it took to get there, which eliminates talking heads (because no dialogue...). 
• Sometimes it's better to show a scene fleshed out that builds naturally. But the body beats help keep the dialogue moving forward and make the world come alive, eliminating the talking heads.

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Narration brings your story to life. Beginning writer advice includes don't info-dump, and I hate reading info-dumps, so I never questioned it. The result? I was so conscious of leaving out any unnecessary narration that my draft read like a screenplay consisting of dialogue and action beats, rather than a fleshed-out story. Secret: It's not an info-dump if your reader is interested. Make them interested in your world, in your story, in your characters, and you can write whatever you want. Your readers will eat it up and still ask for more.

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⭐ Body Beats

Body beats are small snippets of a character’s physical action, facial expression, or inner thought that go along with their dialogue.

“I hate body beats,” she said. <- dialogue tag

“I hate body beats.” She smashed her fists on the keyboard. <- body beat, which makes it clear who is speaking and replaces the need for a dialogue tag.

Basic Body Beats

• Angry: clenching fists, gritting teeth, stomping
• Cold: shivering, shaking, teeth chattering, rubbing hands together
• Embarrassed: blushing/cheeks heat
• Excited: clapping hands, jumping, smiling wide
• Frustrated: rolling eyes, tapping foot, crossing arms
• Nervous: fidgeting, lump in throat
• Proud: chin held high, standing tall
• Sad: head hanging, quiet voice, fighting back tears
• Shocked: jaw dropped, hands covering mouth
• Worried: mind racing, pacing, heart racing

Selection from The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression

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⭐ Dialogue Tags

Use "said" or "asked" unless trying to convey a specific change in how it's delivered.

Useful Dialogue Tags

• Volume: bellowed, crooned, hollered, mumbled, murmured, muttered, roared, screamed, screeched, shouted, squeaked, whispered, yelled
• Emotion: begged, cried, choked out, exclaimed, groaned, growled, grumbled, gushed, hissed, moaned, mumbled, snarled, sneered, sobbed, wailed (or consider punctuating with an exclamation point and removing the dialogue tag altogether)
• Tone: admonished, announced, articulated, boasted, cooed, declared, demanded, encouraged, enunciated, heckled, huffed, lectured, jeered, joked, mimicked, quipped, scolded, snapped, taunted, teased, urged
• Speed/Rhythm: drawled, droned, rambled, stammered, stuttered
• Action: babbled, blubbered, blurted, called, chanted, commanded, coughed, croaked, gasped, hiccupped, interjected, lied, panted, rasped, recited, sang, slurred, sputtered, wheezed

Never arbitrarily avoid said/asked. They're your glue that helps hold your story together, and readers skim over these two words. To actively avoid for the sake of avoiding is the mark of an amateur writer.

The rule to "avoid said" came about specifically because of talking heads, covered above. Overuse of said can highlight a lack of action beats and narration (talking heads), which is a separate problem that will NOT be solved by exchanging said for another dialogue tag.

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“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” ~ Stephen King

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⭐ Adverbs — "Never use them"?

Adjectives and adverbs are both modifiers. However, adjectives modify nouns. Adverbs modify everything else---verbs, other adverbs, adjectives, phrases, even entire sentences.

• Adverbs of Manner: describe how an action is performed. (gracefully, happily, etc.)
• Adverbs of Place: describe where an action is performed. (upstairs, downstairs, etc.)
• Adverbs of Frequency: describe when or how often something happens. (frequently, tomorrow, etc.)

Clearly, they're useful! (Except for really and very. Avoid those.)

The "problem" with adverbs stems from overuse, which leads to redundancy and weaker writing.

Examples:

• It’s intensely hot outside. -> It's scorching outside. (Trimming two words in exchange for a stronger word that means the same.)
• The car drove quickly. -> The car accelerated/sped/raced. (Choose a better verb that allows for more specificity.)
• She screamed loudly. -> She screamed. (This is redundant. Of course, a scream is loud.)
• Her dress is dark blue. -> Her dress is navy. (In this case, "dark" modifies "blue" which is the adjective, so "dark" is an adverb---though were "dark" standing on its own, we'd consider dark an adjective.)
• She hugged me the way a grandmother would, and it was a comfort. -> Her grandmotherly hug was a comfort. (Adverbs for the win.)

Tips to reduce:

• Never use an "adverb + verb combo" when you can use a stronger verb instead.
• If the verb works well without the adverb, or if the adverb is not helping modify in a substantial way, consider removing or replacing the adverb with a stronger adverb.
• Keep adverbs where they're needed.
• In general, any unnecessary words should be removed from your writing. This will keep your manuscript tight.

Don't be afraid to use adverbs. Just use them with intention, like all the other words of your story.

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⭐ Eliminating “Was”

First, using "was" (or any other form of "to be") is not wrong. It is perfectly acceptable to use "was." Tell us the thing, move on, done. It effectively does the job. It adds narrative distance, which can be an effective tool in storytelling.

If overused, it can make sentences repetitive and boring. To reduce usage, it basically comes down to stronger verbs and better descriptive words. It depends on the situation, what you're trying to do, what's going on around it, and how you can combine. (Note this doesn't apply if you are using the progressive verb tense specifically to show a continuing action.)

Spoiler: it doesn't help to change out was for similar words like had, seemed, appeared, felt, or other filtering words.

Potential Options to Reduce

You can possibly just cut it.

• Birds were chirping while I was singing a melody. -> Birds chirped while I sang a melody.

Choose a stronger verb:

• He was going to the store. -> He raced to the store. He meandered to the store. He strode to the store. He drove to the store.

Make it more active and let us intuit ourselves:

• He was tired. -> Exhaustion coated his features. Eyes barely open, he leaned against the back of the couch. His eyelashes fluttered shut. Unable to keep his eyes open, his breathing slowed.
• She was nervous. -> She fidgeted with her shawl. Her heart pounded in her chest.
• The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression - This is super helpful in terms of body beats that help replace “was.”

Create a complex phrase with the adjectives, then add to action:

• He was wearing blue pajama pants. -> Pulling on his well-worn blue pajama pants, he crawled into bed. Dressed in blue pajama pants, he trundled down the stairs to open Christmas presents.
• The dog was brown. -> The brown dog lapped at the water bowl.

Combine it with why it matters (ask yourself "why do we care"): 

• He was 6'2". -> At 6'2", he towered over the other school children.

Use active voice instead of passive voice.

• The donut was eaten by me. -> I ate the donut.

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⭐ In conclusion...

• You have to do what's right for you and your story
• Don't be afraid to break arbitrary "rules"
• Everything is situational
• Every style is different
• Never let anyone overwrite your voice—it's what sets you apart and makes you special

Kind reminder: Nothing about writing is one-size-fits-all; and you can always, ALWAYS take what you want and leave behind the rest. ❤️